子どもが、生き物を「飼いたい!」と言ったら‥

Pocket

「どうせ世話しないから‥」

そう、どうせ世話しないかもしれません。

その面倒、見ることになるのは親かもしれません。

それでも、子どもが「自分で面倒見る、ちゃんとお世話をする!」って言ったら、我々も、それを信じてやりましょう。

「何回そう言って裏切られてきたことか‥」

そうかもしれません。「ちゃんとやる」と言っても、また裏切られるかもしれません。

それでも、子どもが今「ちゃんとやる」って言ったら、それを信じてやるのが大人の、親の役割かもしれません。

こちらも大人だから容易に想像できるんです。(もしかしたらまただめかな‥)って。

だけどその度に、子どもと向き合い、子どもが「ちゃんとやる」って言ったら、その時、今、そう思って、そうやろうとしていることを信じてやるんです。

そして出来なかったときに、「ほらごらんなさい。言ったとおりに出来なかったでしょう」なんて言ってはいけません。

出来なかったことは本人が一番分かっています。

「そんな甘いことじゃ子どもはちゃんと育ちません。」

じゃあ厳しくすれば子どもはちゃんと育つんですか。

それは、大人の言いなりになって、自分の意志とは無関係に、言われたことだけこなすようになるということです。

私たちは、そんな子どもを育てようとは思っていません。

そりゃあ親の言うことを聞いてくれたほうが助かります。

だからと言って親の言いなり、大人の顔色をうかがってばかりの子どもを育てようなんて思っていません。

子育ては大変。

でもその大変さの先にある、すばらしき人生と喜びを知っている。

だからわれら親はがんばれるんです。

もう少し、だめな親を演じてやって、子ども自身が変わることを待ってもいいのかもしれません。

外的な動機付け(誰かに言われたからやる)で出来るようになったって、長続きしないどころか反発が大きいのは心理学が証明しています。

自分自身が変わろうと思い、行動しないことには本当に変わったことにはならないのです。

またそうやって獲得したことは一生ものです。

どうか保護者の皆様ももう少し長い目で子ども自身が変わろうとするのを待っていただき、ときに自ら「そうしたい」「そうなりたい」と思えるような言葉がけ、働きかけをお願いしたいと思います。

もちろん、私たち子どもとかかわる専門家は子どものやる気を引き出すプロフェッショナルです。そのことを一番に考えています。

困ったときにはどうか頼っていただき、子どもの成長をともに考えるパートナーとして、一緒に考え行動させていただけたらと思います。

「ホントにうちの子、もう~!」

なんて大変さも共有しながら、子育てのすばらしさ、子どもの力のたくましさを共感し合える大きな家族の仲間に入れていただければ、きっと子どもの育ちも変わるんじゃないかと期待しています。

滝山ネイチャークラブ

代表 堀岡 正昭

“子どもが、生き物を「飼いたい!」と言ったら‥” への154件の返信

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